


the wonderful part of the mess that we made

by heresie_irisee



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Adrien Is A Pathological People-Pleaser, Episode: s03 Oblivio, F/M, Marinette Overthinks, Romance, Season 3, Self-Doubt, Some "Super Penguino", Some Swearing, Spoilers, Teenagers Are Dramatic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-11-29 04:50:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18218444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heresie_irisee/pseuds/heresie_irisee
Summary: They knew.They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as he'd see the Ladybug in her.





	the wonderful part of the mess that we made

**Author's Note:**

> [Bastille - _Flaws_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1E36WU9Wzf4)

"You know each other's true identities?" Fu asked.

"We weren't supposed to?"

Marinette and Adrien shared a look. He shrugged, but there was an unease on his face that had her feeling off-kilter.

The speakers emitted a burst of static that might have meant a sigh. "It isn't ideal," Fu said, "but there's nothing to be done about it now. Are your Kwamis with you?"

 

────────❖────────

 

She could feel his hand trembling around hers. She rubbed his palm as she said the magic words, but still, he kept tensing.

He dreaded the return of their memories, she realised. She couldn't understand why.

Her own words rang through her mind, distorted through tinny phone speaker. Stop calling us a couple, she'd said. And she had sounded… defensive? Exasperated?

It couldn't have been the entire truth. There were a million reasons she might have said that.

Perhaps they'd been arguing, or were on a break. Or perhaps they pretended not to be together to protect their identities. But she couldn't imagine not feeling anything for him. He was so — he was gorgeous, he was charming, he was brave, he was sweet. He was silly in the best way.

He believed in her so completely, it seemed if she told him he could fly, he'd cheerfully step off a cliff; and that made her feel strong enough to take on anything, or anyone.

Her heart had skipped a beat every single time he'd smiled at her.

She didn't think they'd been imagining things. Their memories had to still be influencing them, whether they could access them or not.

Else, they'd be entirely different people.

And yet, he'd asked to kiss her before she called the spell, and he'd held her so carefully. As though their embrace had been precious — and stolen.

Why was he so sure they weren't together?

She did her best to tamp down on the sudden anxiety tingling up her spine, and leaned closer into him. No. This felt too right. It had to be right.

She sensed more than she heard the spell approaching.

Almost despite herself, she breathed him in. She committed the feel of his hand on hers to memory. Everything would be alright.

She had to believe in that.

 

A veil lifted.

 

Ladybug's eyes flew open.

Chat's eyes were very wide, and so, so very green. Of course they were.

Dimly, through the twin sensations of her stomach falling to the bottom of the Montparnasse tower and her heart jumping into her throat, she felt his hand tightening convulsively around hers. She thought she might be doing the same, though it was hard to tell. If it weren't for their invulnerable suits, it would probably hurt. It didn't matter.

They knew.

They knew, and there would be no magical reset button for the memories they'd made today. She'd have to see him at school every day, and she'd see the Chat in him, as surely as he'd see the Ladybug in her. Already she found herself matching up their grins, their kindness, their unthinking grace.

She could never again see Chat taking a shot meant for her without knowing it was Adrien who was gambling with his life, trusting that, somehow, she would save the day.

She'd kissed Adrien. Twice. He'd given her roses. She'd tried not to laugh at his endless cat puns. She'd ridden him piggyback style. She'd watched him be erased from reality.

The wind was whipping through them. She couldn't tear her eyes away from his. The seconds ticking by each felt like a weightless, fuzzy eternity.

Cold sweat was breaking across her skin, and the blood was draining from her face.

His breathing was getting ragged. She could relate. Her own breath was stuck in her throat, making her lightheaded, but she honestly couldn't trust herself to let it out. She wasn't sure whether she'd scream, or cry, or perhaps cackle like a maniac.

Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears, rabbit-quick, through deafening white noise.

Distantly, she wondered if she would faint. She quite liked the idea of fainting, actually. It would mean that she could deal with this later.

The edges of her vision were getting blurry.

A small, detached part of her started weighing the pros and cons of unconsciousness. The rest of her mind was busy reeling, thinking back to every conversation they'd ever had, every time they'd run into each other after an Akuma attack, every strange coincidence.

A choked-off noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob tore from his throat. His grip slackened, and his eyes squeezed shut.

It was enough to jar her into motion, and she felt herself catching his hands as he tried to withdraw them.

The anguish on his face as she squeezed his palms washed through her like ice water.

"Kitty," she said, her voice strained. "Hey, Kitty, look at me. _Hey_."

Her heart lurched as he shook his head no, so faintly it was almost indistinguishable from a shudder.

Suddenly, nothing else seemed to matter. Her mind was blissfully clear.

Her arms were wrapped around his waist before she could think to move.

He stayed tense and motionless for a beat. When he hugged her back, it was too hard at first — and then, just hard enough.

"It's okay," she breathed into his ear as she drew her hand up to rub small circles into his back. "It's okay, Kitten, we're gonna be okay, it's all going to be fine…"

His muscles were so taut under her fingers that they could have been carved from marble, if it weren't for how warm he was.

Her Miraculous beeped, but she paid it no mind. He was starting to relax. His breath tickled her neck; she did her best to ignore it.

Bit by bit, he melted into her, as though she were the only thing keeping him upright.

That seemed fitting. She might well collapse in a heap, if it weren't for her overriding concern for him.

His ring chimed a warning. He stroked her hair, and she shivered.

"Er, sorry to interrupt," Alya's voice cut in, and they sprang apart.

Nino. Alya. Alya's _phone_.

As quickly as it had come, calm deserted her.

"Please tell me you didn't record that," she screeched. The guilt on Alya's face answered that question by itself. Ladybug clapped a hand over her mouth, trying to gather the tattered shreds of her composure. She scrambled for an excuse good enough to make Alya delete it, but her mind remained stubbornly blank. The only thing she could think of was the truth: that this was too fraught, too complicated, too overwhelming, and that she might honestly weep if a journalist asked about her and Chat before she was ready.

"Did you upload it?" She asked.

She felt almost dizzy with relief when Alya shook her head.

"I'm sorry," Alya said. She winced, uncomfortable. Nino slipped an arm around her, and she shot him a quick, grateful smile.

Ladybug's chest ached.

"I honestly didn't know it would be that big a deal. I mean, Chat Noir flirts all the time, and there was that interview you did with Nadja Chamack — or, I guess you didn't want to talk about it then, either." Alya's face crumpled. "I'm deleting it. Here. Done." She fiddled with her phone, and then held it up. Her camera app was open. The most recent picture was a smiling Nino.

Ladybug exhaled slowly, her legs shaking under her with lingering adrenaline. Alya was the best friend a girl could have. "Thank you. Just— thank you."

Finally, as her pulse slowed, the excuse fell into her lap.

"It's only — Hawkmoth can't know. He uses Chat against me all the time as it is."

Chat's silence was deafening.

"Of course." Alya bit her lip. "I should have thought of that. You're really good actors, though. I honestly thought the flirting and the brushing off were for real."

Ladybug giggled, too harsh and too loud. "Well, of course we're great actors. No one's figured out our identities yet, have they?"

"Yet," Alya winked.

"But you can count on us, dude. You know that. We won't tell anyone," Nino interjected.

"Yes. Yes, of course I know that," Ladybug said. "I trust you both."

"Sorry we robbed you of your scoop, though," Chat cut in, and Ladybug whipped around to look at him. He sounded so calm. He still looked feverish, his cheeks bright red against his ashen face, but he moved with calculated languor to put a hand on Alya's shoulder. "Tell you what, we'll give you another exclusive interview to make up for it. I can't disappoint my adoring fans."

He actually winked.

It made sense, she realised. He never disappointed his fanbase. He gave interviews and quotes all the time. He'd had his own fanclub years before she did.

Everything about him kept making a twisted kind of sense, and Ladybug didn't know how to deal with any of it.

"You're on," Alya grinned.

Ladybug's earrings beeped their final warning.

Chat turned to her, his disquiet breaking through his careful façade.

She held out a hand, smiling, and the hope and fear mingling on his face almost made her hesitate.

"Come on, Kitty, let's bounce. We've got a lot to talk about," she said, and she very nearly sounded like herself. He gave her a pale imitation of his usual grin, avoiding her gaze.

With his arms around her, she jumped off the tower and into uncharted waters.

 

────────❖────────

 

The Jardin Atlantique was still deserted, thank God. Ordinarily Ladybug would have picked the first halfway decent bit of cover to hide in and let her good luck take care of the rest; but she couldn't shake her strange paranoia. She wished she had enough time left to run home and detransform in the safety of her room.

They'd been so lucky until today. Somehow, one person knowing had turned being found out into an actual, non-theoretical risk. What if one of them ever was Akumatized? They'd know where to go, and exactly who to target to make the other fold.

She tried to master herself as she and Chat ran hand in hand through the park's alleys. Chat seemed to be feeling it too. His ears were swivelling, listening for onlookers; she could feel him slowing down near-imperceptibly each time he considered a hiding place, and then speeding up again as he discarded it.

Finally, they saw a tall tree. Its branches were sturdy, and its foliage dense enough. They shared a glance.

Wordlessly, they skidded to a halt. She wrapped her arms around his neck as one of his hands came up to grab her waist, the other reaching for his baton.

He deposited her on a good branch with no more than ten seconds to spare.

She leaned back against the trunk, trying to make sure she'd be able to keep her balance without Tikki's help, as he perched in front of her. He looked at her intently.

The transformation fell away.

He inhaled, sharp, but otherwise stayed mum.

Marinette kept her eyes on her own hands, holding onto the branch with a vice-like grip.

She counted the seconds. Three. Ten. Fifteen. 

A helicopter flew overhead, and she cringed.

They did have a lot to talk about, but she had no idea where to begin.

Finally, Chat's strained laughter broke the silence.

She looked up at him. He smiled mirthlessly.

"I can't believe I didn't figure it out."

He grabbed the back of his neck in an achingly familiar gesture.

"I always thought I'd recognise you immediately, if I met your civilian self," he said, and sighed. "Shows what I know."

"Plagg and I were surprised too, Adrien," Tikki's voice piped up from Marinette's shoulder.

Marinette jumped.

She felt the beginnings of the tell-tale hitch in her chest that heralded an imminent fall—

Chat's hands were on her shoulders in a blink, holding her steady. 

She blew out a slow breath.

She could feel herself redden as she looked into his eyes.

"Thanks."

"Anytime."

"I'm so sorry, Marinette, I didn't mean to startle you!" Tikki said, flying between them.

Chat let go of her.

Somehow, Marinette found the wherewithal to summon a shaky smile for her Kwami. "It's alright, Tikki. It's not your fault I was wound up. How are you feeling?"

"Perfectly fine. Our Miraculous Cure put everything to right, as always!"

"You're probably exhausted. I think I still have some cookies left," Marinette said as she opened her purse.

"Thank you, Marinette," Tikki said, and Marinette could hear the warmth in her voice. Her Kwami brushed against her cheek in a ticklish, feather-light kiss. This time, when Marinette smiled, it took no effort at all.

But Tikki didn't fly down to her usual spot. Instead, she floated over to Chat, and brushed his hand with her paw.

"I never once suspected you were Chat Noir until I saw it for myself, you know. And I've witnessed hundreds of Black Cats and Ladybugs. It always comes as a surprise."

"I was still thick as a plank." Chat bent his head as he spoke to Tikki. "I mean, picture this. You know two girls. Similar heights and builds. They wear their hair the exact same way. They're both incredibly smart, they're driven, they're charismatic and… and generous, and righteous, and they have the same beautiful smile— " his eyes flitted to hers and back down. He swallowed. "They're never seen together, but they're usually around the same place at the same time… Are you starting to feel stupid yet?"

Marinette's heart was thundering in her chest. The twist of Chat's mouth was so wistful.

Tikki patted his knuckles. "You weren't meant to see it. Plagg and I are the first and most powerful of our kind. Our glamours hold up to anything but incontrovertible proof."

"It probably didn't help that I kept tripping over thin air when you were around," she said, and when he grinned at her, it was finally a proper Cheshire cat grin.

"If anything, that should have tipped me off. You did introduce yourself as _Clumsy, Sorry I'm So Clumsy_ , Coccinelle-Girl."

That surprised a giggle out of her.

Chat sniggered. They caught each other's eye, and that was when they started laughing in earnest.

The absurdity of their situation suddenly slammed into her.

She fell under the onslaught of an overwhelming giggle fit, and he followed suit.

She couldn't tell how long they sat there, in a tree, laughing their heads off, but she could tell from her aching stomach that it was too long. His eyes were shining with humour and unshed tears. Whenever their laughter started to abate, they'd share a look, and they'd be right back where they started.

At one point, Marinette started falling, again, and she was almost afraid he wouldn't catch her, he was laughing so hard. He did, and relief breathed new life into her graceless chortling. In the end, she had to hold onto him for dear life and simply trust him to keep them both in place.

His chest shaking against her in desperate giggles was the best thing she'd ever felt.

Her life was unreal.

Eventually, Marinette managed to draw a few consecutive breaths. When the next peal failed to materialise, she chanced a glance at Chat. His eyes were shut tight and he was breathing hard, a smile on his lips, but he seemed to be over the worst of it, too. She wiped the tears off her cheeks.

She felt so light.

Chat made to pull away, but she held onto him. His hand left her collar — she wasn't sure she'd be able to mend the rips his claws had left there, but it seemed like a small price to pay — to settle onto her back.

"Well, I'm going to sleep," Tikki said. She paused for a moment, hovering over Marinette's purse. "Do wake me up when Plagg gets here," she added. The edge in her voice made Marinette frown, but before she could ask, Tikki had closed her purse from the inside. She'd ask later.

Marinette listened to the silence, and to Chat's breathing. She'd never paid attention to the texture of his suit before. It felt alien — not quite leather, but definitely not any kind of plastic.

She rested her cheek on his shoulder.

"I called you our everyday Ladybug." He sighed, rubbing her spine. "How did you manage to keep a straight face?"

She inched closer. "Tikki ribbed me about it later," she said, "but at the time, I didn't find it funny at all. I was really touched."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I was… amazed, actually. I tend to forget, you know." She chewed her lip for a moment, but answered the question before he could ask it. "I forget I'm the same girl with and without the mask. Ladybug is so… so self-assured. But then, she sort of has to be. She's got to save the day, right? Marinette doesn't _always_ believe in herself."

"She should."

Marinette smiled. "She does. Just, not all of the time. Not five-hundred percent. But that's okay, I think. I don't have to be perfect when I'm just me."

"Why, my Lady," he said, and she felt blood rush to her face, "you hardly need to try to be perfect, do you?"

He must have felt her tensing, because he pulled away. She was sure she was cherry-red, but still, he seemed to read how conflicted she was feeling. He looked stricken.

"I'm sorry, that just came out. I didn't think… well, I didn't think. Like, at all. I'll can it with the lines."

"You don't have to," she rushed to say, and then paused to think. "I mean, eventually. Maybe. Just not right now."

"Yeah. Sorry."

"It's fine." She rolled her eyes and took his hand. "Really. It's just… well, it's like I said. I'm far from perfect. I'm awkward, I overreact, I jump to conclusion, I catastrophise all the time, I get obsessive…"

And where he was concerned, that was putting it mildly.

He'd given her an umbrella, and she'd picked out the names of their children and the breed of their hamster. She'd let herself get carried away by her own game.

She didn't even know if he liked hamsters. There was so much about him she didn't know. Now she had twice as many puzzle pieces to fit into a picture of him, and this time, she realised she wasn't even close to having them all.

That was the crux of it, wasn't it?

"Nobody's perfect, Marinette." He looked down at their hands. His miraculous beeped. "I should know."

"And yet, the perfect Ladybug is the one you fell for," she heard herself say. "Not Marinette."

She clicked her jaw shut.

He looked at her, surprise all over his face. He opened his mouth, closed it, and mulled it over for a moment.

Finally, he smiled, his eyes soft. Was that always how Chat looked at her?

He squeezed her hand.

"First of all, _Buginette_ ," he said with a smirk, and she groaned internally, "I am aware that Ladybug isn't perfect. But, second of all…"

He hesitated again. His eyes focused on a point somewhere behind her left shoulder.

"One thing you should know about me is, I'm very good at denial. I'd award myself the gold in the Lying to Yourself Championships if I had the space for it on my trophy shelf."

He shot a glance at her, there and gone in a flash. Her pulse thundered in her ears, but she tried not to let it show as she waited for him to finish stalling.

"So," he finally continued, his words coming in a rush, "sure, sometimes I stared at you a little too long. I always tried to make you smile. I kept your lucky charm on me. I was kind of sore over—" he cut himself off and shook his head. "Anyhow, my point is, none of that mattered, because Ladybug was the love of my life. I told myself I wasn't feeling any of it, until I had myself most of the way convinced. But the more we spent time together, the more I started to… like you. Really like you. Even though I was trying really hard not to."

She thought her heart might beat straight out of her chest.

This was too much.

With a final squeeze, Chat pulled his hand from hers and drew back. Marinette would have stopped him, but she was busy trying to remember how to breathe.

The silence was so awkward. Why was she making it awkward?

But she didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to think.

"You didn't seem all that thrilled when I told you I was in love with you." She suppressed a cringe. She hadn't meant it quite as accusingly as it had come out. 

He had the good grace to look embarrassed.

"Well, in my defence, you really took me by surprise. You were telling me you were in love with someone else, what, a month before that? And we'd never talked much, as Chat-and-Marinette. I thought it was a celebrity crush or something."

"Right." Oh God, Glaciator. Thank God she hadn't told Chat who it was she was in love with. Adrien would have tried to let her down gently, too. She'd have been devastated.

"I mean, I really was blind to what was right in front of me. I'm not denying that. But still." He sighed, and then shrugged. "Not that it would have mattered, I guess."

Wait.

"What?"

He blinked at her, an eyebrow raised. "Well, the other boy's still there. Isn't he?"

He didn't know.

Another turn in the endless emotional roller-coaster of her day, and she wondered if she could take many more.

How could he not know?

Wasn't it obvious who she'd been in love with? His _face_ was her phone wallpaper. And also her actual, physical wallpaper, or close enough to it. Did he think she got so tongue-tied around everybody?

 _How did I fall for the most oblivious boy on earth?_ She thought, and her mind promptly filled with static.

"The other boy—"

Her throat closed up around the words.

Was she in love with him?

 _Yes_ , a part of her answered, but the nettling doubt was still there.

She'd been in love with the grand romantic future she'd imagined for them. She'd definitely been infatuated with him. But could you call it love, when she had never even once thought he was anything like Chat Noir? She never would have thought he could be such an arse when he was jealous or feeling left out. She'd been starting to understand he was a goofball, but she hadn't fathomed the extent of it.

She couldn't — she just couldn't lead him on. She couldn't tell him unless she was absolutely sure. She needed to sort all of this out, she needed to process, she needed to get some sleep, she needed to be away from his green, green eyes long enough to think!

She took a careful breath in, and out. She could do this.

"The other boy was… more of a crush. I thought I was in love, I really did, but it turned out I didn't know him as well as I thought."

There. Truthful enough.

The ringing in her ears started to fade.

The smile he gave her was so bland. She'd seen it in a million adverts.

She hadn't thought she could hate one of his smiles.

"That's kind of unfair to him, isn't it? I mean, you've only been dating a few weeks."

" _What?_ " She wheezed.

"What?" He answered, surprise breaking through his bland mask.

"Who the hell are you talking about?" She shouted, and clapped a hand over her mouth.

He looked confused, and then mutinous. That was a face she'd seen on Chat on before, and one she struggled to imagine on Adrien.

"Luka," he finally said, as though it were obvious and with no small amount of venom.

Her hackles raised.

"I am not dating Luka!"

"You're not?" He blinked.

"I'm not."

"Oh."

"Yeah, _oh_." She frowned. "Where did you even get that idea?"

"The ice rink? You invited him. He was all over you." He pouted. He actually pouted. She couldn't believe him.

"And you," she stabbed her index finger into his chest, "went with Kagami. You asked her out. Are you dating _her_?"

"No!"

"Well then!"

He rubbed at his chest where she'd poked him. "Why do you even care who I'm dating?" He muttered.

"If you pulled your head out of your arse for a hot minute, you could take a guess!"

"Fine! You got me!" His ears were lying flat and as he gestured for emphasis, he had to catch hold of a nearby branch before he lost his balance. "I'm clueless about this stuff! I need it explained to me in very small words! I'm so sorry I grew up with only Chloé for company, it must be so fucking _inconvenient_ for you!"

He crossed his arms and turned his head away from her, leaning back.

She rubbed at the bridge of her nose. She wanted to grab his shoulders and shake some sense into him. "It's not that complicated. You'd already know if you'd been paying any attention," she bit out.

One of his ears flicked toward her and flattened again, but he otherwise didn't move a muscle.

She frowned.

He refused to look at her.

Fine.

Two could play at that game. She found she had a sudden fascination with leaves. Magnificent things, leaves. Leaves would never go about assuming things about her love life and then having the sheer nerve to act wounded over it.

Now the silence was awkward _and_ tense.

Around them, Paris was sorting itself out. She could hear the sounds of _business as usual_ resuming. Their secluded spot wouldn't stay that way for much longer. 

They needed to get back to their bus, anyway.

She didn't want this to be the note their conversation ended on, but she was at a loss.

She stole a glance at him. Their eyes met for a second before he hurriedly looked away, frown deepening.

She was just about ready to bring up the weather when his ring beeped — and kept beeping. She turned just in time to see him bathed in green light, furious sparks flying over his form.

For all that she knew what to expect, watching her surly kitten give way to Adrien Agreste, perfection incarnate, still left her feeling like the first time she'd leaped off the Eiffel tower.

Now she knew what he looked like when he was pouting. It wasn't as jarring as she'd thought it would be. It wasn't jarring at all.

"Finally! Oh, Adrien, I'm dying!"

Plagg zipped down to Adrien's knee, and then collapsed with a low moan. Slowly, he raised a shaking paw.

Marinette suppressed a laugh.

"Plagg," Adrien said, exasperation and affection mingling in his voice.

"Hurry! I don't know how long I have!"

"I'm all out of the good stuff."

"What? Tell me you're joking."

"All I've got is American cheese." A wide grin broke on Adrien's face as he pulled a single-serving, plastic-wrapped slice out of his back pocket.

Plagg closed his eyes in pain, apparently overcome by despair. "That abomination is a stain on the good name of cheese. It doesn't even smell of anything!"

Adrien's grin got wider. "I know," he stage-whispered.

"Oh, the humanity!" Plagg wailed.

Adrien laughed.

Plagg opened one eye. "Well, why aren't you giving it to me?"

"Oh, I don't know." Adrien inspected the floppy orange square critically. "Now that I'm looking at it, I'm kind of hungry. Besides, you did leave me high and dry today. I don't know that you deserve it."

Plagg gasped, and took flight again. "I came back!"

"I had to make myself a cardboard costume! I think I've earned some protein."

Adrien started to unwrap the slice.

Plagg flew a slow circle around Adrien's head. His eyes narrowed.

"You wouldn't."

"You're right, I wouldn't," Adrien smiled as he threw the unwrapped single to his Kwami. Plagg's mouth opened impossibly wide as he gulped it down. He twirled happily in the air.

Then, in a nonchalant arc that could almost have been accidental, he briefly rubbed himself under Adrien's chin.

"You're still my favourite chosen, you know," he said, so low she barely heard it.

"Thanks, Plagg."

It was writ clear on his face how much that meant to him, and despite herself, Marinette felt all her annoyance melt away like so much snow in the spring sunshine.

Then, Adrien smirked again, and the butterflies in her stomach fluttered back to life.

He held her eye for a moment, and then gave a significant look towards… her hip?

Oh. _Oh._

Adrien Agreste was a _little shit._

As surreptitiously as she could, she opened her purse, and poked Tikki a couple of times. As soon as she stirred, Marinette lifted a finger to her lips. Tikki frowned up at her, waking up in earnest.

Tikki peered over the edge of her purse, and immediately zeroed in on Plagg and Adrien, busy play-arguing.

Silently, she flew up behind Plagg. Adrien did an admirable job of keeping his eyes on his own Kwami.

Tikki cleared her throat.

Plagg jumped, and whipped around.

His face was priceless.

"Sugar Cube!" He cried.

Tikki crossed her arms.

Plagg eyed her up and down.

"Well, would you look at the time!" He said.

He disappeared in a black blur.

Tikki made a frustrated noise, and flew off after him.

Marinette and Adrien looked at each other.

"Sugar Cube?" He mouthed, and Marinette stopped biting down her laughter.

He chuckled faintly, running a hand through his hair. When he looked back at her, his eyes were contrite.

She gave him a hesitant smile, and he sagged in relief.

"I'm sorry," he said in a quiet voice. "I know I shouldn't have assumed. I'm just a mess right now."

Marinette shook her head, trying to think past the ache in her chest. "So am I. This is… a lot."

She closed her eyes, and immediately felt the urge to open them back up, to keep looking at him and analyse every minute shift of his eyebrows. She resisted it, and took a deep breath.

"Luka's very sweet. But he's — he's not who I was talking about."

Adrien said nothing.

"The other boy. I've liked him for a long time, but I never did anything about it. He just made me too nervous, and anyway it was… easier. I liked loving him from a distance. All the highs of being in love, none of the risks."

"Huh."

That made her look at him. He had a strange look on his face. She made an inquisitive noise.

"It's just hard to picture you hesitating over anything. Especially a guy. I thought you'd be the type to go for it."

She raised an eyebrow. "Stop picturing Ladybug. This was Marinette."

He shook his head, smiling incredulously. "I can't really imagine Marinette being that shy either. After Ladybug, she's probably the bravest person I know."

Her stomach did a somersault.

"Well," she choked out, "I guess you didn't know me as well as you thought, either."

His smile fell. His eyes did, too.

"I guess."

He rubbed at the back of his neck for a moment. God, but he was so distractingly pretty. And he looked so dejected, again, and it was her fault, again, and it was so damn unfair. She was trying to do the right thing!

"It's not that much of a gamble, anyway, is it?" He laughed. It was forced. "I mean, he must like you back at least a little bit. Unless he's a complete idiot. And if he is…"

All at once, his green eyes were intent on her face, resigned and torn but also, she thought, just a little bit hopeful. "…Well, you've got my number."

She wanted to laugh in his face. She wanted to cry.

"I wouldn't use you like that, Kitten," she said instead, laying a hand on his shoulder. "You deserve better than to be a consolation prize." He opened his mouth, but she cut him off. "I was right about one thing back there. You mean a _lot_ to me."

He stared at her. 

After a few moments, he remembered to close his mouth.

Then, that cautious, stubborn bit of hope started gaining way on his features. He reached up to cover her hand with his.

"Sorry, Mari, but I really _do_ need very small words. Are you saying… Are you considering it?"

She wanted to kiss him so badly, if only to wipe the last traces of dejection off his face. But that would be a terrible reason to kiss someone. Wouldn't it?

"I'm saying I need to think. I'm not being coy — I don't want to toy with your feelings, Adrien, I really don't. This is just too much all at once." She sighed. "I need some peace and quiet. Can you give me that?"

"Yeah. Yeah, of course. Anything. Take all the time you need." He swallowed. He was still looking at her as though she held the answer to the meaning of life itself. Neither of them moved.

Eventually, Marinette looked down at the ground. Far, far below. She turned back towards him.

"Tell me you're good at climbing trees."

He smirked.

 

────────❖────────

 

They hurried back to the bus together, in silence. It wasn't a bad silence. For all the unsaids it contained, it was comfortable.

She tried not to look at him too much, but still she was hyper-aware of him on her left, flitting in and out of her peripheral vision.

He made no such effort. At one point, he narrowly missed tripping off the sidewalk. She couldn't hold back a chuckle, thinking back to the number of times that had happened to her.

Mlle Bustier had a few choice words for them, and they kept talking over each other's excuses — they were hit by the Akuma — they got lost — they got hit and _then_ got lost, and by the time the attack was done, their phones were out of battery… Their teacher raised a sceptical eyebrow, before finally waving them inside with a fond, relieved smile.

How had she never noticed his bullshit excuses after Akuma attacks? She must have been too busy worrying about her own.

Their whole class was already there. Chloé glared daggers at her, muttering to Sabrina about her getting lost on purpose to spend time with Adrikins. 'Adrikins' rolled his eyes.

Nino patted the seat next to him, looking at Adrien expectantly.

Adrien hesitated.

Marinette brushed his arm. When she had his attention, she smiled, and shot a glance towards the seat to tell him to sit down.

He smiled back so gently she wanted to kiss him again. Then he nodded, and complied.

As she slid into the window seat next to Alya, she felt an elbow dig into her ribs.

Alya's grin threatened to split her face in two.

"Girl, what was that about? Did something finally happen?"

Belatedly, Marinette turned crimson.

"Oh my God," Alya whisper-screamed.

"I'll tell you later!" Marinette squeaked.

"Oh, you better!"

 

────────❖────────

 

It didn't occur to Marinette until she crossed the bakery's threshold and took in her mum's haggard face that she'd forgotten to call home after the attack.

Her mum didn't hug her with crushing force quite as often as her dad did, but every time it happened, Marinette wondered fleetingly whether her ribs would come out of it intact.

By the time her mum had finished dressing her down for making her worry, the six PM rush hour was starting. Marinette stayed to help. Partly as an apology, and partly because it was something to do that didn't threaten to twist her heart into sharp little pieces.

Taking orders, wrapping baguettes in paper, telling every other customer that yes, they did take contactless card — it was so simple. By the time they closed up, she thought the Gordian knot in her chest might be a little looser.

So, she kept going.

She helped her mum clean up. She helped her dad with the cooking, discussing Mecha Strike strategies as she chopped vegetables. After supper, she did the next day's homework in the living room. Then, she started working on her homework for the day after that, and then the next.

(She even applied herself to the Italian. She checked her textbook for every single grammar rule and vocabulary word, instead of going by instinct, fuzzy memories of her grandma talking on the phone, and, when all else failed, blind hope that it would work the same as it did in French.)

Finally, when her mother kissed her goodnight and she was left alone with her small mountain of notebooks, she slumped down.

There was no avoiding it any longer.

She climbed the stairs to her room, her heart growing heavier with each step.

As soon as she opened her trapdoor, she was faced with Adrien's beautiful, smiling face.

She felt so full of so many different emotions, it was a wonder she didn't overheat and shut down. She smiled to herself. Her heart was overclocked.

She surveyed her collection of posters.

He was so dreamy, in every single one of them. He wore a smile that was probably carefully selected by someone, somewhere to move the hearts (and/or loins) of teenage girls just like her.

It never reached his eyes.

Mechanically, she started tearing her posters down.

He'd always treated modelling like an inconvenience. He never actually got excited about it the way he did with fencing. He must not like it all that much, she only now realised.

It made sense. He was a lot more reserved than he let on, in either of his faces. Not that he was ever short with his fans; but, perhaps, he'd do without them if he were given the choice.

Or, well, Adrien's fans. He loved Chat Noir's fans. Especially the little kids. He'd let a young girl pet his ears once, and afterwards he'd apologised with a grave face for not being as soft and fuzzy as the real thing. Just thinking about it made her grin.

From her hands, the last poster smiled innocuously up at her. Paper-thin, empty, and fake.

She felt her eyes fill with tears.

"Marinette!" Tikki called as she flew to her. "Oh, Marinette. What's wrong?"

"I fell for it!" She sobbed. "I told myself so many times I was better than his fans, that they loved him for his pretty face and not how wonderful he was— and the whole time, I was— I was— "

Tikki was clinging to her shoulder, rubbing it gently. Not for the first time, Marinette thanked the Universe for Tikki. She'd be so lost without her. She cupped her Kwami in her hands and held her close to her chest.

Her back hit her newly-bare wall, and she slid down against it.

"Tikki," she choked out through her tears. "Tikki, I told him I was in love with him, and I _didn't mean it one bit!_ "

"Oh, Marinette…"

"Am I just that shallow? Is that it? This whole time I've been dying to know him better, and I find out I knew him all along, and I didn't love him!" She wiped her eyes fruitlessly, and sniffed. "He shouldn't love me."

"Marinette, you know that's not true." Tikki petted her fingers. Marinette sobbed again. "Marinette. You didn't just fall for his looks, and you know it. You didn't love him right from the start, did you?"

"Close enough to it," she grumbled.

"No." Tikki flew off her hands, and Marinette could only curl them up into useless fists.

Tikki returned a few seconds later with her box of tissues. Marinette accepted one gratefully, and blew her nose.

Tikki perched on her knee. "You fell for him when he showed you he was gentle. You aren't shallow, Marinette. You give me proof of that every single day."

Marinette cried harder, and for a long time she couldn't get any words out. She stopped fighting it. 

She still felt so guilty, and so very, very stupid.

"How could I not see him?"

"You did see him. If you didn't see the Chat Noir in him, it was because he wasn't showing it to you."

"Do you think it was all an act?"

"Adrien? Or Chat?"

"Either. Both!" She buried her face in a tissue.

"I don't know. Only he can tell you that." Tikki blinked thoughtfully. "When he lost his memory — did he seem more like Chat or like Adrien to you?"

She thought back. She tried to relive every joke, every smile, every blushing silence.

"He was… like both of them."

Tikki nodded. "And did you act more like Marinette, or like Ladybug?"

"Like both. I _am_ both of them. You keep telling me that."

Tikki smiled. "And you loved each other then, didn't you?"

They had.

Was it really that simple?

"Are you saying I was in love with Chat the whole time, and just in denial? Like he was?"

"That's a question only you know the answer to." Tikki tilted her head, considering. "But if you want my opinion, no, I don't think so. Not like you loved Adrien. Still, that doesn't mean there was nothing there."

The last of Marinette's tears subsided, leaving a throbbing headache as a souvenir. Her face felt puffy and her nose was raw. She was exhausted.

She searched her memory for something, anything, that might tell her how she'd truly felt about Chat.

The night he told her he loved her. She'd been struggling past her own heartache, and so full of regret for him, but behind all that, had there been a flutter? Or was she imagining it because she wanted there to be one?

There was that odd flash of hurt when he'd showed up to have lunch with her parents. Like she hadn't wanted him to move on, even to herself. Which, yes, had been kind of stupid. But it was something.

She tried to picture him moving on now, and it definitely wasn't a good thought. But she had no way of knowing how she would have felt about it yesterday.

Tikki flew up to press a kiss to her forehead. "You're being too hard on yourself."

"He deserves someone who doesn't love him wrong."

"You did no such thing." Tikki sighed. "You're very young, Marinette, and love is complicated. You thought they were different people, and you didn't let yourself entertain Chat out of loyalty to Adrien. That isn't wrong; it's admirable."

"But if I really loved him, shouldn't I have fallen for Chat anyway? Despite myself?" Her eyes were dry now, but she still wanted to cry at the thought. "He did."

"Love isn't just something that happens to you. When a seed sprouts, it still needs to be nurtured. You chose to love Adrien. You can still choose to love him, now that you know him better."

"How do I do that? Choose to grow my love?" She whispered. Her eyelids were getting heavy. She felt like she could sleep for a hundred years.

"Choose to discover him. Choose to think about him. Choose to spend time with him. Just be yourself around him, and let him be himself around you; and then either your love for him will blossom, or it won't. But there is no wrong way to feel. You'll still love each other even if you aren't in love. You'll always have each other, as long as you're both willing to reach out."

Marinette said nothing. She leaned her head back against the wall. She breathed.

"You should go to bed," Tikki said some time later. Marinette didn't move. "Come on." Tikki pulled at her collar. "It's been a long day."

Marinette didn't even bother washing her face or fetching her pyjamas. She chucked off her capris and her bra, leaving them in a pile on the floor, and climbed the ladder to her bed.

As she felt Tikki settle in next to her, she blinked her eyes open.

"You knew. You've known since Dark Owl."

"I have."

"You must have thought we were so stupid."

"I thought you were both very sweet." Tikki smiled gently. "Plagg probably had a lot of fun mocking you behind your backs, though."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"We can't. We put a spell on ourselves so we wouldn't. Plagg and I…" Tikki looked towards the skylight. "He wouldn't exist without me, and I wouldn't have true purpose without him. We're connected. Usually, our chosen are, too. However they feel about each other, they tend to feel it very strongly. We learned the hard way that it's a bad idea to reveal them to each other before their relationship settles and it happens naturally. Of course, sometimes, we don't have that luxury."

"Why a spell?"

Tikki grinned. "I'd like to think I wouldn't say anything anyway, but it's always nice to be sure. And it's definitely nice to know Plagg won't do it even on accident."

Marinette laughed.

She turned over, closed her eyes, and was gone.

 

────────❖────────

 

Marinette could feel Adrien's eyes on her as soon as she opened their classroom door.

She looked back. He searched her face.

Whatever he saw there must have satisfied him, because he turned his attention back to Nino with a smile.

Well, one thing was for certain — her butterflies hadn't gone anywhere.

She floated to her seat, and greeted Alya on autopilot as she laid her chin on her folded arms.

She busied herself with staring at the back of Adrien's head. Even his nape was unfairly attractive. This wasn't even the first time she'd noticed it.

She watched the thin strip of skin being revealed as he shifted, and then disappearing behind his shirt collar again.

Next to her, Alya sighed with her usual put-upon fondness.

As Mlle Bustier came into the room, Adrien turned his head, just enough for her to be at the very edge of his peripheral vision. She didn't look away.

 

────────❖────────

 

The back of her neck was tingling.

She turned and looked across the courtyard. Sure enough, there he was. Nino and Alix, next to him, seemed engrossed in their own conversation. His eyes were boring into her, his face unreadable at this distance.

She stared back.

Tikki's words the night before kept running through her mind. His words, too. Why didn't she just risk it? She knew how he felt. What was she so afraid of?

Alya snapped her fingers in front of Marinette's face, blocking her view.

"Hey!"

Alya smirked down at her from superior height advantage. Marinette gave her an exaggerated pout.

"He still hasn't grown a second head, you're not missing out on anything."

Marinette pulled Alya's hand down, but when she looked back towards Adrien, he was nodding along with whatever Nino was saying, looking for all the world as though his focus had never wandered away from the exchange.

Alya shook her hand free, then wrapped an arm around Marinette's shoulders, smiling.

"I was trying to talk to you, and that was rude. Is it _later_ yet?"

"Sorry?"

"Yesterday. Something obviously happened. You said you'd tell me later. I was expecting you to call basically as soon as you were home."

"I had a lot of work to do. I'm done with the Italian, by the way, if you 'forget' and need to copy mine again tomorrow."

Alya gave her a Look.

"You were doing the Italian homework. Instead of talking to me. About Adrien."

Marinette looked down, chastised. "I was stalling."

"You were stalling. So, tell me about it. You know I always make it better."

"You really do, you know? I don't know what I'd do without you. I don't tell you that enough."

"And I'll still love you when we're old and grey, but you're still not telling me."

She was best friends with a bloodhound. She smiled helplessly, and Alya grinned back.

"Alright, alright. Yesterday…"

What to share, what to hold back, and what to invent? She was so tired of always lying to everyone but Tikki. She hated lying.

"We were running from the Akuma together. He'd, uh, he'd grabbed my hand, to run."

Alya gave her a thumbs up.

"And then you guys hit us both with the memory-erasing rays. I woke up really confused. He was, too. But, well, we didn't see anyone else around, so we assumed we at least knew each other, and we decided to stick together." Absently, she twisted her fingers. "His phone was out of juice, but I managed to unlock mine — he was pretty impressed by that. Then we saw that my wallpaper was a picture of him. And we'd been holding hands when we woke up."

"You thought you were together?" Alya looked so gleeful on her behalf.

She really hated all these half-truths.

"Yeah," she breathed. "And I mean, it was all really overwhelming. Stressful. He was so good at settling me down, Alya. He knew just how to make me laugh to distract me, and he kept saying the sweetest things. He was just…" She sighed.

"Girl. You lost all your memories, and you managed to fall for him all over again in a couple of hours?" Alya put a hand over her heart. "That is the cutest thing I've ever heard. You need to tell Rose. She'll faint in glee."

Marinette flushed. "I'm hopeless, aren't I."

Alya rubbed her arm. "So, nothing new under the sun, then."

Marinette shrugged, studying her shoes.

"Marinette."

"Mhm?"

"There's something else. Spill."

"He kissed me," she blurted out.

Alya raised her hand for a high-five. Marinette pulled a face at it. Alya looked at her, eyebrows climbing ever closer to her hairline, until Marinette reluctantly slapped her hand into it.

"Nice."

"Alya!"

"What? It's just a kiss. I know he's your future husband and everything, and it's kind of awkward, but still. Don't tell me you're not at least a little happy about it."

Marinette smiled, in spite of her best efforts. "It was a really good kiss."

Alya laughed. "I knew it." She leaned in. "Did you go on your tiptoes?"

"I totally did!" Marinette squealed, and she felt her old enthusiasm fill her voice.

"And then what happened? You took forever to get back to the bus."

Marinette opened her mouth. Alya held up a finger. "If you try to tell me _you_ got lost around rue de Rennes, you owe me free croissants for a year."

"I wasn't going to!"

(She'd absolutely been going to.)

"We just talked. It was really awkward. Especially because he was somehow convinced I was with Luka."

Alya laughed so hard it actually hurt Marinette's ear.

"I was so shell-shocked I actually managed to speak in full sentences. He…" She swallowed. "He told me… he actually liked me. Really liked me."

"Yes! Oh, I knew that boy had some sense buried in him somewhere!" Alya glanced at her. "And right now you're not jumping around telling me about the fancy cage you'll get for your future hamster because…?"

"He still didn't realise I loved him. I didn't tell him."

"Yeah, that's actually a good move. Wait at least a few dates."

There was a pregnant pause.

"There will be dates, right?"

"What if there are, Alya? What if I get with him and it isn't everything I've ever dreamed of? What if I don't love him after all?" She hid her face in her hands. "What if I break his heart? What if he breaks mine?"

 _What if we break up, and it messes up our partnership?_ She didn't say.

"Lord, grant me strength," Alya said under her breath. When Marinette peeked at her through her fingers, her face was sober. She grabbed Marinette's shoulders, holding her gaze.

"No."

"No?"

"I refuse to let you what-if your way into letting the boy you've been mooning over _the entire year_ pass you by. You need to tell him, right now, that you also really like him, and invite him on a date. Something nerdy. He's a huge nerd."

"Alya," she hissed.

"I'm telling you, I refuse. What if he falls for, I don't know, Lila? Or that Kagami girl? Then you'll be heartbroken anyway, and I'll be the one to pick up the pieces, and if I have to hold your hand while you cry and drown in ice cream, I'm gonna need it to be because you took a chance and it didn't work out. Not for any other reason."

Marinette stared through Alya, her hands falling limp into her lap.

If she kept her distance — if she tried to keep it professional, and Adrien eventually fell out of love with her…

She might regret not opening that door for the rest of her life.

Alya's eyes softened. "Come on, you can do it. You're the bravest person I know. You always take chances. What if it does work out? Doesn't that make it worth trying?"

Marinette hugged her.

"I will. You're the best, Alya."

"Yes, I am. Now, get to it."

She got her phone out under Alya's watchful eye.

She tried not to hyperventilate.

 

**〔** so, I've had time to think **〕**  
**〔** meet me on my roof tonight? around 9? **〕**  
**〔** :) **〕**

 

She pressed send before she could chicken out, and shut her eyes tight.

"Oh my God. Oh my God, Alya, I did it!"

"I know!" Alya grinned. Then, she bodily turned Marinette around.

He was smiling down at his phone, so bright it could light up the whole courtyard. She felt a mirroring smile pull at her lips.

Then he looked up at her.

 _Oh. It's Chat's smile_ , she thought. Huge, beautiful, and just a touch feral.

Her heart skipped a beat.

Could it really be that simple?

She could feel the self-satisfaction positively radiating from Alya. She couldn't fault her for it.

The bell rang, making both Marinette and Adrien jump. They both laughed a little. He shot her one last grin, and started following Nino towards their classroom.

She watched his retreating back.

Her phone vibrated.

 

**〔** I'll be there. Can't wait. **〕**  
**〔** 😘 **〕**

 

She let herself luxuriate in the sweet ache in her chest.

She couldn't wait either.

 

────────❖────────

 

The worst thing was, she couldn't even distract herself with homework.

She'd tried designing, but she'd kept getting distracted. She'd tried reading something, but she'd only ended up looking at the time every two or three minutes, willing it to move faster.

In the end, she'd given up, and elected to wait for him on the roof, wrapped up in her warmest (and rattiest) blanket against the chill of the evening, and listening to her ∘₊✧♡Adrien♡✧₊∘ playlist.

They were still sweet songs, even though few of them fit quite like they used to.

(She needed to make a new one. She'd call it ❤❣ **❤** Kitten **❤** ❣❤.)

She checked the time again. Ten to nine. She gave herself two more minutes of blissful warmth before she banished the hideous thing back to the depth of her closet.

Or…

No, that was definitely a black figure pole-vaulting over a rooftop in the distance.

She barely had time to chuck the comforter over their chimney before he reached her balcony.

He perched on her banister, casual in a very obviously studied way. She was reminded of when he'd been there last.

Well. She'd confessed her love to him once. She could do it again. Probably.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," she answered. "You're early."

He smiled, sheepish. "Didn't want to risk getting caught in traffic." He tilted his head. "Besides, you said around nine. Ten-to is around."

She laughed. "Well, with excuses like that, I guess I'll have to forgive you."

"Your mercy knows no bounds, Princess." He straightened, balancing on the edge, and gave her a courteous bow.

He was such a dork.

He was so sweet.

He hopped down and slid to her. She smiled up at him.

"So," he said, so low she had an excuse to lean towards him to listen. "You've had peace and quiet."

"Yeah. I made up my mind. I've got three things to ask, and then one thing to say. Er, if that's okay with you."

She took his hand. He looked at it, then back at her face. She could see him trying not to get his hopes up.

"Alright. Okay." He took a deep, trembling breath. She did the same, though she hoped, pointlessly, that she wasn't as obvious about it. "Do you want me to detransform?"

She thought for a moment, then shrugged. "Whichever way you'd rather be."

He looked conflicted for a handful of seconds.

"Plagg, claws in."

She watched the suit melt away, fascinated. This close, she could feel the magic at work, like static all over her skin. It had a clear kinship with Tikki's that she couldn't begin to explain, and somehow it was still its polar opposite.

Under it, he was wearing only jeans and a T-shirt. His hair was wet, and his feet were bare.

"Eager to see me?" she winked, her heart fluttering.

He huffed a laugh. "Can you blame me?"

"Not one bit."

Over his shoulder, Plagg was hovering, watching them both with an impassive face. She swallowed.

He flew off before she could greet him.

She shook herself.

"But you'll freeze out here. Let's go inside."

She tugged him towards her skylight. He didn't budge.

"I'm fine for now."

"Maybe you are, but I hate the cold."

That got him to move.

She had to let go of his hand to climb down into her room, but her skin still tingled.

"What about your parents?" He asked as he hesitantly let himself down onto her bed after her.

"Dad's in bed. He wakes up at three thirty, you know. And if I know Mum at all, she'll be watching some drama on her tablet with the volume all the way up. You don't have to whisper."

"Oh." He visibly relaxed.

She laughed. "Come on. They can't be that intimating."

"Last time I was here, I made your father mad enough to get Akumatized. Not a great track record."

"Well, good thing you're not planning on breaking my heart tonight," she said, smiling at him over her shoulder, and started down the steps from her mezzanine.

He groaned. "Please, let's never talk about that again."

"You brought it up!"

"And I regret it. Seriously, LB, full moratorium. I might give myself an aneurysm and then you'll need to get yourself a new Chat Noir."

She sat down on her chaise, deciding to keep her ceiling light off, and laughed up at him.

Tikki was nowhere to be seen.

He looked around the room, and something flashed across his face, too quick for her to decipher. She motioned for him to sit next to her. He did as he was told.

He crossed his legs, then uncrossed them. He drummed his fingers on his knee.

He crossed his legs again, differently this time.

"What was that all about, anyway?" He asked. "Your love confession, I mean."

Her smile slipped off her face. "I thought you might figure out I was Ladybug. I just blurted out the first thing that came to mind to get you off-track."

"Ah." He shrunk in on himself. "I figured it had to be something along those lines."

She half wanted to just kiss him and be done with it, but she couldn't bring herself to cross that Rubicon. She was still so stupidly nervous. She needed to stick to her game plan, or she'd panic.

Besides, she had to use her words. Communication was key, as every teen magazine kept telling her.

He rubbed his eyes with a wry smile. "I kept myself up all night screaming internally about it, you know."

"Seriously?" She laughed.

"Yep. Haven't slept a wink."

"You don't look it."

"Well, I've got practice. Juggling school, extracurriculars, modelling, and superheroing has been… an experience."

"Tell me about it!" She huffed. "How do you manage? I swear one of these days I'll fall asleep at my sewing machine and Paris will just have to take care of itself while I'm in A&E."

"Three things," he said, and counted them out on his fingers: "micronaps, way too much coffee, and generally just winning the genetic lottery." He rolled his neck. "It's got its limits, though. Right now, I'm pretty punch-drunk. Hopefully there's no Akuma tonight. Knock on wood," he smiled, rapping his knuckles against his own temple.

Her chest felt warm. It was so nice, just relating to him like this. It felt easy. Comfortable. She thought back to the way they'd fallen in sync when they'd lost their memories. This was like that, only… more.

"I'll need to try catnaps, then."

He blinked. "I can't _believe_ I missed that one!"

"Yeah, you are definitely sleep-deprived." She smiled, biting into her lip. "Is that really what kept you up? My dad's Akuma?"

"Well, yeah." His cheeks coloured ever so slightly. "I mean, that, and the time I whined to you about my broken heart. And the time I tried to set you up with Nino. And also the time I asked you for help with Kagami." He winced. "The gag order applies to all of those as well, by the way."

"Right." She swallowed. That was the perfect opening. No more excuses. She had to get on with it. "That was one of the three questions, actually."

She drew patterns into the velvet of her chaise. He waited.

"Why _did_ you ask Kagami out?" Her voice sounded small to her own ears.

From the corner of her eyes, she saw him run a hand through his hair. It was drying in places, and starting to stick up a little. It was tamer than Chat's mane, but wilder than Adrien's careful part.

It looked good on him.

"Well, this is mortifying," he muttered. "Alright. So, one day, I was busy moping about you. She saw right through me. She told me I should try to 'switch targets'. I was feeling especially hopeless. So I decided to give it an honest shot."

"But why her? You said you liked me. Marinette-me." She hated how whiny she sounded.

"Well, when she said I should switch, she meant I should switch to her. I was still…" He rubbed his neck. "I don't know, exactly. She was there. She made it obvious she wanted me, and that was kind of flattering. And she's great, honestly. I thought, maybe, I could fall for her if I tried. And then I could get over you."

He sighed. "I'd like to say on some level you reminded me too much of Ladybug or something, but I just have no idea. It's not like I made a conscious decision not to ask you."

She bit her lip. "But you only went on the one date?"

His smile was small, but it was there. "Yeah. It didn't work. First, I spent half the date watching you and Luka and feeling _weird_ and not getting why, and then I saw you as Ladybug and I just… realised it was no use. Kagami's great, like I said, but," he made a helpless gesture, "she's not you."

The last vestiges of her rankling insecurity fell under her mounting giddiness. She did her best to still her beating heart. She knew she was blushing again, but really, could anyone blame her? He was disarming.

"Okay! Next question." She watched his face carefully. "Why do you act so different with the mask on?"

He looked taken aback. He glanced to the side, a finger coming up to tap at his lips. Considering.

He took a long time to answer.

"You know, I never tried to put it into words. I don't do it on purpose, exactly. I didn't go, _oh, sweet, a mask, time to invent a new me_ when Plagg showed up, or anything."

He leaned back on his hands, his face turning up towards the ceiling.

"The first couple of times, I was just too excited to think about how I was acting. I mean, I felt like a mix of Batman and Sailor Moon. That was the single most brilliant thing that ever happened to me. But then…"

He paused again. When he continued, his words were halting.

"As Adrien, I'm always watching what I say. There's all the work-related stuff, and of course I've got to act professional then. I know if I put a hair out of line at school, I'll be sent back to my old tutors in a blink. Around people… " he chuckled. "I just want them to like me, I guess; so, I try to think twice before I open my mouth. And my father is… easy to disappoint."

She took his hand. He shot her a smile, and looked away again.

"Somewhere along the line, I realised that I didn't have to watch myself when I had the mask on. Chat Noir isn't letting anybody down when he says something stupid or acts like a child. So, it sort of became an outlet. First I said everything that popped into my head, and then I started playing it up a bit — having fun with it. Also," he looked at her sideways and grinned, blushing slightly, "being around you has this way of shooting my filters all to hell."

She squeezed his hand, smiling. Sweet euphoria warmed her down to the tip of her toes.

She'd never been drunk, but she imagined it felt something like this.

"After that, Chat became its own persona. I'm not being dishonest either way. It's more that at this point, I automatically sort my impulses into _things Chat would do_ and _things Adrien would do._ "

The new pieces slotted effortlessly into her new puzzle. She quite liked the picture.

So, he wore more masks than she'd anticipated. As long as he let them fall when they were together, just the two of them, she didn't mind. She didn't mind at all.

(A small part of her preened, knowing she was privy to this version of him he let hardly anyone see.)

He shook his head, grimacing. "Erm. Thanks for coming to my TED talk?"

She barked out a laugh, and shoved him. 

"You— you _massive memelord!_ We were having a moment!"

He giggled, giving her his chastised-kitten eyes. She shoved him again for good measure, but it was half-hearted at best. The air did feel lighter.

Taking his hand again, she laced their fingers together. She inched closer to him.

"Besides," she said, looking at him through her eyelashes, "I asked."

He bent his head to look at her. Even sitting down, he was stupidly tall.

"You did."

She could look at him for hours. She had before.

He cleared his throat. She blinked.

"Anyways!" He said as he straightened. "What's the third question?"

"Oh!" She grinned. "How do you feel about hamsters?"

He laughed. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"Nothing." She shrugged. "I just wanted to know."

He scratched his cheek. "I think they're really cute. I was never allowed pets growing up, so I kind of want one of each. Really, if it's got fur, you can assume I like it."

She smiled to herself. Score.

"So, how am I doing?" His thumb stroked hers. It sent shivers through her whole body. "Am I getting called back for another interview?"

"You're perfect," she breathed out before she could catch herself.

It made him go fire-engine red, though, and so she couldn't regret it.

They were turning out to be a matching set of regular tomatoes.

She could live with that.

She opened her mouth.

_I'm falling in love with you._

Seven words.

Why couldn't she just come out and say it? She'd thought she'd been past this. Had that not been enough pep talks? Why did her mouth have to run away from her at the worst times, and then refuse to work whenever it actually mattered?

She tried to take a bracing inhale, but she ended up with a noseful of his scent.

(Warm skin, citrusy shampoo, a distinct and thankful lack of any kind of cheese.)

That had been a tactical error.

He just looked at her, his gaze steady. _Take your time_ , it seemed to say. But she was getting fed up.

She'd just need to talk around it until her plausible deniability dried up.

"I should tell you about this boy I fell for."

He pulled a face. "Should you?"

"Yeah, I really should. I'm working up to a point, I promise."

He looked resigned. She tightened her grip, acutely aware of the last time they'd held hands exactly like this. She tried to make her smile reassuring. His lips flickered into an answering smile, and he motioned for her to go on.

"I started liking him two days after we met." It seemed so long ago, but it had only been last year. Even if she didn't count the whole masked vigilante business, her life had changed so much since then. She stared at the space on her wall where his face used to be.

"I actually thought he was an arse at first. It was a stupid misunderstanding, but you know me; once I'm set against someone, it can be hard to change my mind. But he managed. He went out of his way to clear everything up, and when he did, I saw this glimpse into him. He was... candid. Vulnerable, I guess. Gentle. A bit lonely." She scrunched up her nose. "That makes it sound like he's a crybaby, or — like I was looking for a project or something. What I mean is, I saw how deeply he felt things. He's sensitive. I like that about him. Most of the time. And I've had my share of loneliness, so I related to that.

"That was when I felt the first pang. You know the one." She glanced at him. He nodded, face grave. "After that, I started paying attention. Watching him. Borderline stalking him, Alya would say, as though she didn't egg me on. I found out he was kind. Really, fundamentally kind. He almost always has something nice to say, even to people who really don't deserve it. Always willing to help people. Easygoing, too — sometimes to a fault. Then, I learned he was actually pretty smart." She took in the tremor in his clenched jaw, and the way his grip on her hand stayed firm, but not hard. Present. She snorted. "Well, book-smart anyway, but I didn't realise that just then."

"Next, I realised he was the same kind of nerdy as me. At that point, I started joking about our future children, but it became less of a joke every time I said it. The more I learned, the more I wanted to find out."

She fiddled with one of the buttons on her cardigan. "I know what you meant about playing things up for the fun of it. Liking him was some of the most fun I've ever had. I could be as OTT as I wanted, because if you can't be OTT when you're fourteen and in love for the first time, when can you be, right? I let myself feel everything to the eleventh power. I was a mess around him, stammering and blushing and tripping over my own feet. But somehow, I... started only seeing this grand vision of him I'd built up in my head. I put him on a pedestal. That was unfair."

She looked him full in the face. He swallowed.

"So, when I found out there was this whole side of him I had no idea was there, I panicked." She took his other hand, willing him to understand. "I psyched myself out."

She forced herself not to look away from his eyes. His breath caught. She smiled.

"I should just have kissed him again as soon as I realised he'd liked me back the whole time."

His eyebrows were knitted together. It made her want to smooth them out with her thumb. He looked like his heart was in his throat.

That made two of them.

Very small words, he'd told her.

He just wouldn't let himself believe in it otherwise.

"I was stupid, and I ended up hurting him for no reason. It's just not every day you learn the boy you love moonlights as a catboy."

He gaped at her.

His cheeks were so red.

(She wanted to bite them.)

For a moment suspended in time, she watched certainty overtake his features.

Then, he let out a keening whine, slumping forward until his forehead rested on their joined hands.

She was powerless against the giggle that bubbled up from her chest.

"You might have mentioned," he said, voice muffled, "that he's also dumber than a bag of rocks."

"True," she laughed. She let the full weight of her affection colour her tone. "Good thing he's ungodly pretty."

He laughed. It sounded a touch wild.

"I can't believe this. How did that idiot get so lucky."

His hair looked so very tempting. It tickled, soft, over her wrists. She wanted to feel it under her fingers, but she found herself unwilling to let go of his hands to do it.

"He's not that stupid. I think he was just raised by wolves."

He looked up at her, eyes gleaming in the low light. "He takes lack of social skills to a whole new level."

That was enough of that, then. She put on an offended face. "Well, _I_ still like him, and you can't change my mind."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

The gap between knowing he loved her and actually being the reason for the wonder on his face could bridge stars.

Slowly, he straightened.

"Mari?" His voice was low and soft.

She smirked. "You're just going to call me that whatever I have to say about it, aren't you?"

"I like nicknames."

"I know. Kitty-cat."

His face was very close.

She bit her lower lip, hoping he would look at it.

He did.

"Mari."

"Adrien."

"Can I kiss you again?"

"Please."

He inched closer. His breath mingled with hers.

His grip slackened. She rested her hands on his knees.

His finger trailed over her arms, and a shiver ran up her spine. They tickled her shoulders. They sent a burst of breathless heat through her as they brushed her neck. Finally, they cupped her face, tilting it up.

She watched him through lidded eyes. He looked reverent. Worshipful.

She wanted his worship. She wanted it with a fierce, greedy sort of ache that reverberated through her like a new bell being rung.

Together, they bridged the last of the gap between their lips.

There were no fireworks, but she hadn't expected any. There was only him. His warmth. The softness of his lips. The taste of peppermint. The hitch in his breath as she deepened the angle of the kiss. His face, blurry from being so close, filling her entire vision.

She let her eyes fall closed.

Their first kiss — Heartbreaker didn't count — had been easy and sweet. It had held the assumption that it was the hundredth. It hadn't had the weight of months of longing stares and one-sided obsession, or their finely-honed instinct for each other's movements. It hadn't had the complicity borne of having flung each other across the battlefield. It hadn't been a fantasy come true.

They broke apart for the sheer pleasure of meeting again. She slid her hands up to his waist, slow and teasing, and she felt him tremble.

His mouth closed around her lower lip. His teeth…

Oh.

She breathed raggedly into his skin as he nipped and sucked at her lip. Her hand found his hair. It wasn't quite as soft as she'd always imagined, but it was real.

She ran her nails over his scalp, and then tugged faintly at the strands. His sharp exhale had just a touch of voice in it. One of his hands drifted from her jaw to her nape.

Breaking the kiss, she started to move, and he shifted exactly enough to let her press herself up against his chest. His fingertips traced the length of her spine. She kissed him again, open and breathless.

It was new, alien and exhilarating. They explored each other's mouths for what felt like a few scant seconds, and an eternity.

Every solitary inch of her skin felt hot enough to catch fire.

Finally, just as she thought she might not be able to take any more, he pulled away.

Together, they breathed.

He buried his face into her shoulder, laughing incredulously. She stroked his hair, and held him close enough to feel his heartbeat echoing her own.

"I should have told you yesterday," she said, barely a whisper.

"I honestly couldn't give less of a shit." She felt him shake his head. "Sorry. I mean, you needed time. One more day pining for you didn't kill me. It's fine. More than fine."

She smiled into his hair.

Citrus was fast becoming her favourite scent.

He laughed again.

She made an inquisitive noise.

"I just can't believe it." He raised his head to look her in the eye, smiling like her personal sun. "You love me. You really love me."

"And you love me." She laughed too, her head swimming. "You've loved me for months."

"So have you!"

She swallowed. His eyebrows twitched with faint puzzlement.

"I'm sorry I ever stopped seeing you."

His next breath was almost a sigh, or almost a laugh; he looked at her with so much tenderness she felt she could drown. "Only you, Mari."

She tilted her head.

He pressed their foreheads together.

"Only you would apologise for loving me too much. But sure. If you need me to forgive you for it, it's done. You're forgiven."

She closed her eyes.

Alya had been right. Whatever happened, it would be worth it.

He pulled away with a nuzzle, drawing a chuckle from deep within her chest.

They smiled at each other.

His eyes flitted to her lips.

"You don't have to ask every single time, you know."

 

────────❖────────

 

"Plagg?" Adrien called over the railing.

He'd kept his voice quiet, mindful of the hour. Still, his Kwami drifted lazily up to them, smirking for all he was worth.

"Yeah, yeah," Adrien droned. "You were right, and I was wrong, and I should always listen to your sage relationship advice for I am but a clueless kitten."

Plagg pouted. "It's no fun when you admit it without a fight."

"Forgive me, I happen to be in a good mood."

"Ooh, I'll b—"

" _Claws out!_ "

Marinette stifled a laugh.

She watched him as he transformed. She had to admit, it looked a little cool. He was an overeager dork at heart, but a slightly cool one.

He stepped back towards her when he was done.

"That was rude," she said, without even a hint of reproach.

He grinned. "Maybe. I'll be listening to his gloating when I get home either way, so I figured my time was better spent elsewhere."

"It's not as though your baton would turn back into a pumpkin, Cinderella. It's not even midnight."

"No, but the driver might misjudge a jump, and I don't fancy a dunk in the Seine. I really need to get some sleep."

"Poor kitty." She rung his bell.

He leaned into her space.

Under Chat's mask were Adrien's lips, still red from her kisses.

She decided to let him have one more. Then another. He started purring at the third one, and that was definitely interesting. Now that they didn't have to run away from each other, maybe they could steal a few moments alone after battle— she bet with her mask on, she could have him purring on the first try…

He wrenched himself away. She frowned at him.

"Christ. I just realised." He put a hand over his eyes. "Glaciator. You meant _me_."

"You're really bad at following your own moratorium.

He ignored her. "I was the one who ditched you!"

"Yep. I got over it, don't worry."

"I ditched you to confess my love to you, and you ditched me for a romantic ice cream with me." He inhaled through his nose. "You know, I'm sure one day all this will be hilarious, but right now it's still…" He made an incoherent noise of frustration.

He shot her a look over the edge of his fingers. Her shaking shoulders betrayed the snickers she'd managed to keep silent.

"You know what," he said, taking her hand, "I'll make it up to you. I'm free at six tomorrow. Let's get ice cream."

"One of André's?" She tried to keep up her aloof act, and failed utterly. "You know, they say couples who share one his ice creams stay together till the end of their days."

He brought her fingers to his lips. His eyes shone in the light of the streetlamps.

"Do they, now."

 

 

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F I N

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**Author's Note:**

> I would have written some of Adrien's POV, but it was pretty much just [this](https://buggachat.tumblr.com/post/182434870993/) for thirty hours straight and then happy tears.
> 
> I thought this would be 2k, maybe 4k at a _stretch_. What is happeniiiiing. ~~I had to give up editing partway through because I, much like Adrien, need to g2b. It probably shows but I'll fix it later.~~
> 
> [ETA: Boy oh boy, did it show. My sleep-deprived self sure left me with a bloody mess on my hands formatting-wise. 
> 
> I'm not even slightly embarrassed though because yall are too wonderful for negativity to cloud this day 💖💖💖💖💖]
> 
> Scream with me about Oblivio and/or these dramatic-ass sunshine children's general existence on [tumblr](https://tous-les-chats-sont-gris.tumblr.com/)! Or in the comments. Comments are good. I'm pretty nervous about this one - first fic in the fandom and all. Hence the staying up all night to write it. I'm babbling. Goodnight!


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